Grow your own Emergency Toilet Paper

Thanks to the 2020 pandemic shutdowns, toilet paper became a briefly scarce commodity, and many people realized for the first time just how crucial it can be to have access to this necessary, if seldom appreciated, hygiene resource.  However, humans were conducting essential, daily hygiene for many millennia before the invention of paper, and the use of paper for toilet wipes is completely modern (only a few hundred years, and only in some societies).  So, what did people use before TP (or what do off-grid communities use today), especially in the absence of pressurized water and modern bidets?

Leaves, of course, have been the most common solution for most parts of the world.  Not just any leaves, however.  Random dead leaves from the forest floor are not an ideal wipe, especially if they're moldy or have insects hiding among them.  Worse yet, some leaves are toxic (many scouts can relate stories of that one time when someone in their scout troop picked poison ivy leaves for the purpose, and learned to regret their error).  No, the leaves that work best are generally picked fresh, and must be sturdy, but soft; broad, but not brittle; abundant, and not irritating.

Humans, of course, learned to prefer certain leaves over others.  Nomadic tribes knew which leaves would work and at which seasons, and where to look for them to harvest a supply during their travels.  Medieval gardens contained special broadleaf plants which were understood to serve this purpose.  Many colonial American outhouses had particular plants lining the walkways to their doors, precisely to accommodate this need.  Modern off-grid communities continue to grow specific plants to provide enough to supply the wants of members, and visitors, although they may not advertise this less-discussed purpose of the leaves.

Here, we'll list a few of the best temperate-climate plants grown in the US for toilet wipe leaves.  These winter-hardy perennials grow easily in any garden (some of them self-seed, so keep them in a bed or they'll become a weed; great plants for "black thumb" gardeners).  They don't like lawnmowers so they won't take over your lawn, and they prefer disturbed soil, so containment in a garden bed isn't challenging--just be aware that they'll happily take over that garden bed.

Malva Sylvestris

Mallow, or malva sylvestris, is a perennial salad plant (cooked like spinach) with medicinal uses (especially the root and stalk, for cough remedies) and edible seeds (use like chia).  It's extremely nutritious, especially the younger leaves, which are the ones to pick for culinary use.  The bigger leaves work as natural toilet paper, and here in Virginia (zone 7a) the plant keeps growing even in winter, so you can pick fresh leaves at need, even if you run out of TP in the middle of a blizzard.  Plant them near the house in a sheltered bed for the best winter growth.  After two years, the roots are ready to harvest for cough syrup (use like marshmallow, its cousin).  The plant can keep growing indefinitely, even as you pick leaves from it, but it grows so fast from seed that you might as well harvest the roots, too.  All summer, the plant will be covered in lovely purple flowers (also edible).  The stalk will reach about 4 feet tall, but it often falls over at that height, so keep it harvested to maintain a shorter plant.

Mallow leaves are leathery, strong, and abundant.

Mallow leaves are leathery and strong, and broader than a standard square of commercial toilet paper.  However, they are not particularly absorbent.  The juices of the stem are also moderately sticky (in fact, this quality is useful in thickening soups), which can be a slight down-side for handling them.  On the up-side, the leaves are available in winter, and can be picked easily from the tall stems even if snow is on the ground; the upright stalk helps ensure clean leaves, and they are easy to rinse (just to be sure) prior to putting them in a basket in the bathroom for ready availability at need.

Mallow is sometimes referred to by another common name, hollyhock, although this leads to confusion with another common garden flower, and their close relative.  Hollyhocks as commonly sold in garden stores and seed catalogs are a taller plant, bred more for the showy flowers and less for the culinary leaves or medicinal qualities of the plant.  However, both mallow and hollyhock share an association with outhouses.  Early American outhouses were often surrounded by plantings of one or both varieties of these tall, leafy flowers.  In part, this may have been to somewhat beautify the location of an otherwise unsightly necessity of the landscape before the days of indoor plumbing.  However, the primary and more critical purpose was providing a supply of leaves to visitors on their way into the loo.

Mallow flowers all summer, though its bloom is less showy than hollyhocks.

Hollyhock leaves are similar in many ways to those of mallow, but with a nice addition of being fuzzy instead of smooth and leathery; thus, they can be considered more absorbent than mallow leaves, and perhaps preferable for an outhouse-only garden.  However, hollyhocks have a disadvantage as perennials, in being particularly susceptible to a rust (a fungus) that attacks the mature plants and causes leaf drop, making the leaves unusable.  Mallow, though sometimes attacked by the fungus, is far less susceptible, and therefore is more likely to still produce usable leaves even if older leaves show signs of rust.  Mallow also brings its medicinal and edible offerings to the garden, making it by far the more useful plant in general.  Though there is no reason not to grow both hollyhocks and mallow, if your garden has only space for one, choose malva sylvestris to increase your overall resilience for emergencies.

For more information, see our blog post on mallow.

Great Mullein

Mullein, or verbascum thapsus, is a biennial. The first year it grows a low, thick rosette of wooly leaves. The second year it shoots up, growing 7 feet tall or more, with a fountain of soft, fuzzy leaves and a long stalk of bright yellow flowers. The flowers are used for tinctures for treating ear infections. The leaves, dried and crushed, make a tea for coughs (strain the tea well to get the fuzzy hairs out).

Mullein in winter, going into its second year.  The soft, fuzzy leaves remain available even when growth is halted by winter.

The leaves are thick, soft and fleshy-feeling (like a floppy dog ear), with fine bunny-soft fuzz on them. They've been used as TP for centuries in the Appalachians, and the leaves are available both years of its growth, even in winter. For TP, wipes or poultices, use fresh, not dried, because drying makes the leaves brittle and crunchy. You may want to cut or tear the leaves into smaller 'sheets' to avoid clogging flush toilets, as they're quite large.

For more information, see our blog post on mullein.

Russian Comfrey

Some permaculture enthusiasts recommend using Russian comfrey leaves as an alternative to toilet paper.  Indeed, the leaves have most of the same traits as mullein, being broad, flexible and fuzzy.  However, comfrey leaves are not safe for everyone; some people have strong reactions to using fresh comfrey leaves on their skin, as the hairs on the surface of the leaves can prove to be an irritant. If you have sensitive skin, test any leaf on the back of your hand first, before using it in more tender regions.  We think that this plant belongs in any garden, for many other reasons, but those who wish to use it as a toilet wipe should proceed with caution and should not assume that their guests or visitors can use it safely.

To read about the other, and more important, benefits of comfrey, see our blog post.

In conclusion...

Always remember to pick clean leaves or rinse them before use, and check for bugs or dirt, especially if using fresh leaves.  Test leaves against your skin to check for sensitivity, prior to using them for wiping tender areas.  If you primarily rely upon standard commercial toilet paper, consider growing these plants for their multiple other uses.  That way, you will have a backup in times of shortage, but you needn't explain their alternative purpose to visitors in your garden.

These are just a few garden perennials that can provide TP leaves year-round, so you can grow your own emergency wipes.  Note that leaves are safe for all sewage, septic and composting systems (organic, compost quickly), and so long as they aren't too bulky, they're flushable.  If you have a garden, these plants can boost your resiliency against emergencies, and if emergencies never come, they're still useful and beautiful plants that are super easy to grow. Happy planting!